Chances are that you have some voices in your head with some fixed views about how the divorce is going to go.
Some common ones are:
- I can't be a victim here
- For me to win the other person has to lose
- If I compromise I'm the loser
- The new lover won't be going near my kids
- I'll never fall in love again
- I'm too old to ..............
- I'll never be strong enough to get through this
- and a million more!
In coaching we refer to this as the Saboteur voice. It's all about what we can't do and what is outside of our control. The real truth is of course that all of the statements above vary greatly depending on our mood at the time and how motivated we feel to 'slay the dragons' that we all have in our heads.
Henry Ford said "whether you believe you can, or you believe you can't, you're probably right".
Think about what your saboteur says about your divorce. What are things that the saboteur says are out of your control? Now imagine that it's lying to you and you actually have many more options available to you. Get curious about what these options might be and put pen to paper. The 'what is possible' list is always longer the 'what is not possible' one!
Go to the resources section and get our free factsheet on dealing with your own saboteur - it's time to take your life back!
